Gas mask.

The gas mask covered his face. His rotten countenance grew weary of existence. The gloomy rain over his suit and the desperate scream of his soul were killing him step after step. He was exhausted. No, he was more than this for he was dead inside.

He could see his breath through the mask and the reflection of his red lenses over the white snow. There was no stop…. This. Was. War. That was war since he was a child. He had been trained to survive and to kill. He was part of the most dangerous, meticulous, and lethal of all armies in the world. He was trained to survive in the most extreme situations and to exterminate a whole civilization -if it were necessary. He was a killing machine; he was a tired killing machine.

And the rain did not stop. It kept on falling over the world… over his world.  And he could not move any more. He did not wanted to move forward any more.

His brigade was standing still. Not a single move was performed. All of them were waiting for his leader to articulate the next order. But his leader was unable to move. In front of his eyes, there was nothing but his parents tombs, his room, and a blue, blue sky. He could heard the sound of the waves breaking and his father… and his mother… and the moment in which life stopped. He remembered the last birthday at home and the smile of his friends. The warmth of a hug and the shaking hand of his dad… The shaking hand of his dad when the government demanded a whole generation of children to go to war and to be trained to go to war. He could hear his mother screaming and he never knew what happened to her. That day was gloomy and sad. They walked through a corridor. A humid, yellow, and suffocating corridor. At the very end, the starts and the flag of our country. The whole wooden door was the flag of our country. Silence. Suddenly, when he was about to ask his dad what was happening, time moved forward.

I was separated from them.

My dad’s hands shaking and my mom screaming her life out.

I was sent to the special unit I would command for more than a life time. And, now, I was in front of my life…

In his hand, he hold the next order to follow. The rain turn into snow. Peaceful and pure snow they were about to desecrate. A holy place of peace would be ruined in seconds. And he was tired… tired of war…. tired of being surrounded by Death. But he was unable to do anything but to remember the day everything started….

‘Chief, are you ok?’

No answer.